Rilez and Squirmy

(via kidsoncrack)

prettycolors:

#ff878f

prettycolors:

#ff878f

animalstalkinginallcaps:

OH HEYYYYY GUYS! HOW ARE YOU TODAY? NOW, I KNOW YOU’RE PROBABLY ASKING YOURSELF, “WHAT IS LAURIE DOING SUPER CRAZY WASTED AT NOON, IN PUBLIC, NAKED?” AND I’M HERE TO TELL YOU, BECAUSE I’M LAURIE AND I HAVE THE INSIDE SCOOP.

SEE, WHAT HAPPENED IS THAT LAURIE RAN INTO STEVE AND HIS NEW “SIGNIFICANT OTHER” AT TARGET, IN THE TOWEL AISLE. YOU GUYS REMEMBER STEVE? HE WAS LAURIE’S BOYFRIEND FOR TWO AND A HALF LONG, STUPID YEARS WHERE SHE THOUGHT MAYBE THEY’D GET MARRIED AND LIVE IN BRENTWOOD BUT THEN STEVE GOT THAT JOB AT THE SOFTWARE COMPANY AND STARTED GROWING DISTANT. YOU REMEMBER THAT? BOY I SURE DO! WOOOOOOOO! AND THEN STEVE WAS ALL LIKE, “I’VE MET SOMEONE ELSE,” AND LAURIE HAD A LITTLE SIX MONTH VODKA VACATION AND HAD TO GO TO THE SPECIAL RETREAT! WELL, GUESS WHO’S GOING BACK SOON? CAN YOU GUESS? HUH?

I’LL GIVE YOU A HINT: SHE’S PEEING ON HERSELF RIGHT NOW, WHICH IS WHAT SHE SHOULD BE DOING TO STEVE, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT HE DID TO HER HEART.

(via thewelcomeswallow)

(via thewelcomeswallow)

imwithkanye:

WHERE WAS RIZZO? Just finished watching the Muppets. My only complaint: where was the lack of Rizzo the Rat. Seriously, where was he? Was he not available? Was there a salary dispute? Whatever the reason, I do not approve.

(via allcreatures)

Simply amazing.